Sorry dads, but more money is spent on Mother’s Day than Father’s Day. The National Retail Federation expects Father’s Day spending to reach $12.7 billion. That sounds like a lot of money, but it doesn’t stack up to what was spent on Mother’s Day: $21.2 billion. There are a number of factors that contribute to making Father’s Day a lesser commercial holiday when compared to Mother’s Day.
Let’s face it, the majority of Moms prepare the family meals, so it is easy for restaurants to promote giving Mom a break from cooking by offering a Sunday brunch special. I asked the food & beverage manager at my golf club why they did not offer a Sunday brunch for Father’s Day. Her answer; “We tried it but had to cancelled due to lack of interest”. By the way, the mother’s day brunch is sold out every year.
Father’s day spending is now competing with Memorial Day, graduation and of course, June is prevalent for weddings. It is easy for children to justify spending less on dad who is laid back enough to be okay with receiving a smaller gift. Plus buying for Dad is tricky: Mom is probably going to appreciate flowers and chocolate more than Dad is going to dig his Daffy Duck novelty tie.
The most popular Father’s Day gift: quality time, it costs nothing.
But Dads do matter: they really have an important role to play
Human beings are social animals and we learn by modeling behavior. In fact, all primates learn how to survive and function successfully in the world through social imitation. Those early patterns of interaction are all children know. It is those patterns that effect how they feel about themselves and how they develop.
Fathers are central to the emotional well-being of their children; they are capable caretakers and disciplinarians. Children who are well-bonded and loved by involved fathers, tend to have less behavioral problems, and are somewhat protected against alcohol and drug abuse.
Studies show that if your child’s father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to your child’s cognitive, language, and social development, as well as academic achievement, a strong inner core resource, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity.
How fathers influence our relationships.
Girls will look for men who hold the patterns of good old dad. If father was kind, loving, and gentle, they will reach for those characteristics in men. Girls will look for, in others, what they have experienced and become familiar with in childhood. Because they’ve gotten used to those familial and historic behavioral patterns, they think that they can handle them in relationships.
Boys on the other hand, will model themselves after their fathers. They will look for their father’s approval in everything they do, and copy those behaviors that they recognize as both successful and familiar. Thus, if dad was abusive, controlling, and dominating, those will be the patterns that their sons will imitate and emulate. However, if father is loving, kind, supportive, and protective, boys will want to be that.
As a father of two, a boy and a girl, I have accepted the fact that Moms will get a lot more attention than Dads. It doesn’t mean that your children love you less. Your reward comes from knowing that your sons or daughters will be successful academically, become well-adjusted members of society, be in loving relationships and have good careers. Hopefully, they will eventually become good parents.
This post is dedicated to my Dad who was done too soon and to my son who has begun his journey as a great Dad.